COUNTING THE COST

We have often looked back in disgust at the things we have given up to our self-centered life style. The things we didn't even think of at the time were sacrificed without a second thought. What we wouldn't give to go back in time. But if we are honest with ourselves about it,the results would be the same. The things that we do don't make us who we are. On the contrary it is who we believe we are that will determine what we do. So if we were to go back in time, it shouldn't be to change an event but rather change what we believe about ourselves and God for that will make the difference. I was thinking today about counting the coast of discipleship. In Luke's gospel the coast is pointed out for us by Jesus himself. The coast is ALL! 15:33. I must ask myself, " Am I now willing to turn all that I believe I am over to God?" My knowledge of God will coast me nothing. In fact I have found that there is a lot I have taken from myself and others through my knowledge of God's word. In truth it added nothing to me. It took you're respect by force and I lost my self-respect in the process. It was my fear of rejection that drove me to such extreme measures. Internally I hated myself. So I sought the acceptance of others through my biblical knowledge to fill a whole that only a relationship with Christ would fill. I spent my life playing the roles others set for me and in the process lost sight of who I really was. Even when I managed to fit in I never felt like I belonged. As a result I could never really be a friend to anyone because I was always trying to hide from everyone the failure I thought I was. When I was willing to lay all that down. I saw for the first time God's great love for me. I didn't need to perform or play the right role to qualify for the fathers acceptance. God acceptance if found in His one and only son. Today I am much more sure of myself and confident in who I am in Christ. As a result my fears, although still present, lack the power to influence and control me. I have found that I can have as much of God as I am willing to let go of myself to have :-) Q :-)